Donald Trump sat down for a children’s podcast. It went exactly how you would expect. Joining Second Lady Usha Vance on her show “Storytime with the Second Lady,” the president was supposed to read a simple picture book. Instead, he delivered a bizarre, self-absorbed monologue about his predecessors, his own weight, and his aversion to exercise.
The episode, recorded back in June and released Friday, featured Trump reading “Presidents Play!”—a wholesome release from the White House Historical Association detailing how past commanders-in-chief stayed active. The Oval Office set was predictably gaudy. Gold accents were paired with a stuffed bald eagle, stacks of giant books, and a Lego globe.
When Vance asked if he reads for pleasure, Trump didn’t hesitate. “I usually read stories about myself,” he admitted.
As he flipped through the pages, the book became a launchpad for personal grievances and weird observations. Lyndon Johnson was a “tough cookie.” Ronald Reagan was like a father figure. John F. Kennedy was dubbed “the second-most good-looking president,” leaving the identity of the most handsome president heavily implied.
He took cheap shots at his rivals. Looking at an illustration of Barack Obama playing basketball, Trump used his full name, “Barack Hussein Obama,” and questioned his athletic skills. He mocked Obama’s golf game, noting, “He won’t be in the Masters anytime soon.”
Others got a pass. Richard Nixon merely “got himself into trouble.” Bill Clinton, shown jogging, prompted Trump to say, “I don’t think I’ll ever do that,” though he claimed to like Clinton “a lot.” Trump even plugged his own construction project, noting that a creek once used by John Quincy Adams for swimming is now the site of a new White House ballroom.
Naturally, the talk turned to physical fitness. Trump shied away from horses, fearing a fall. “A nice old horse that’s extremely slow, lazy,” was his preferred mount.
He also fretted over his own image. Seeing Gerald Ford in a pool, Trump mused, “I don’t know if I look good in a bathing suit.” Pointing to William Howard Taft, the nation’s heaviest president, Trump joked about his own diet. “I have to be careful because I don’t want to supersede his record,” he said, advising the children watching to stay in shape.
To wrap up, Vance asked Trump why kids should celebrate the Fourth of July. He offered a grim, campaign-style warning instead of patriotic cheer. “We have a country that, it’s on a little bit of a ledge right now,” Trump said, promising to “make America greater than ever before.”
