The National Mall is currently hosting a massive party for America’s 250th birthday. It is called the Great American State Fair. It is, to put it mildly, a bit of a disaster. Think dead generators, soup-like ice cream, and a glaring lack of actual states.
Organizers promised a complete picture of the union. They lied. At least ten states and territories flatly refused to show up, mostly because they did not want to foot the bill for a 16-day taxpayer-funded junket. Walk past the spots reserved for Connecticut, Oregon, Washington, Maine, Alaska, or the U.S. Virgin Islands, and you will find nothing but empty carpets, lonely chairs, and sad backdrops. It looks like a bankrupt trade show.
Some states actually tried. Texas brought a mini-Alamo, a spaceship replica, and an interactive music exhibit. Nevada went full Vegas. California offered a vacation raffle. But these bright spots only highlighted the emptiness next door.
The absence of official delegations left some citizens embarrassed. Take Donna, a 72-year-old retired teacher from Massachusetts. Her state boycotted. She got mad. So, she drove nine hours to D.C. with cases of maple syrup and coloring books to staff the booth herself. She is the sole representative of her state, working 13-hour days. “I could just go there myself,” she figured. Good for her. Shame about her state government.
Then there are the infrastructure failures. The power grid failed on day one. The Ferris wheel died for two hours. The food vendors watched their entire inventory of ice cream turn into warm milk because the freezers lost power. Want chicken wings? Out of stock. West Virginia brought a simulator where you could drive and sing John Denver songs, but the air conditioning broke, so they shut it down. Even the National Geographic screens went dark.
People tried to have fun anyway. They drank at a pop-up Budweiser bar. They took photos with a fake Las Vegas sign. They dressed up like George Washington. But the universe had the final laugh on Friday. The sky opened up, and the fair shut down hours early due to rain. Happy birthday, America.
